Dear Cell Phone,

I think you and I need to spend some time apart.  

I’m sorry to be so blunt but you are smothering me in this relationship.  

Take last night for example, I was trying to read my kids a story and you kept going off over and over until I finally gave up on the story to give my undivided attention to you.  

Then last week during church while I was trying to pay attention to the sermon your obnoxiously un-silenced version of ‘footloose’ went blaring through the chapel; the glares and giggles were completely your fault. 

I’m finding it hard to pay attention to other aspects of my life when you are so demanding on my time.  Your annoying little red dots popping up at me every time I blink are killing me.  I can’t stand seeing them so I spend hours making sure they are all cleared. I wish you would just be more proactive and take are of your own stuff.  I feel like I do everything in this relationship.

I really do appreciate the watch you gave me for Christmas, but I am starting to see some ulterior motives even with this gift. Now I get your alerts constantly throughout my day and even into the night.

Not only does it make me seem like your beckon call girl, but I feel like I am being watched all the time.  You now have the ability to track where I go, how many steps I take to get there and even how many calories I burn when I arrive.  I don’t think it’s your place to remind me that I need to work on my appearance. I can do that on my own, thank you!

Also this weird relationship you have with Siri is really bothering me.  I’ll be talking to a friend about nothing to do with you and Siri will just start butting in to the conversation spouting off information as if I asked for her help.  It is creepy.  Last week in the movie theatre during a particularly tense moment of the movie she starts blaring some random comment about the weather.  That earned me some rather annoyed looks by my neighbors.  You may think that kind of crap is funny but it’s just getting old.

And one last thing, your incessant need to be ‘updated’ is obnoxious.  As soon as I get used to one version of you, you and your split personalities decide to change on me.  I don’t know who I am going to wake up with the next morning. I’ll admit some of the changes are lovely, but some just make you ridiculous to handle and I’m constantly trying to stop you from crashing…it’s exhausting. 

Please forgive me for being so blunt but frankly it might be the only way to get my point across with you. I need a break.  I may even read a book this weekend or go to the beach and actually look at the ocean and enjoy the sunset.  There is so much in life I feel I am missing because I have given so much of myself to you.  

Sincerely,

Me

Photo by Benjaminrobyn Jespersen on Unsplash